15 Signs A Married Man Is Fighting His Feelings For You

You have a strong gut feeling that a married man might be crushing on you. But he hasn’t mustered the courage to confess what’s on his mind. It’s probably driving you crazy—wondering if there’s something real to hold on to or if he is just sowing his wild oats. So, what are the signs a married man is fighting his feelings for you?

It’s good that you’re here because this situation comes with complexities that deserve careful consideration. Even if a married man pleads for you to date him, would you compromise your principles to indulge his desires? The bottom line is, he’s married. Call it a red flag, call it a non-negotiable boundary—there’s a lot to think about before you step foot into his life.

Don’t worry; together, we’ll explore the signs that his feelings for you are genuine. Read till the end for a plan of action that puts your integrity and well-being first.

Why Would He Hide His Feelings From You? 

When a married man starts to go weak for another woman, he knows he’s stepping into an unethical zone. If a married man loves you genuinely, he might argue that everything’s fair in love and war. Yes, maybe in fiction. In reality, he is emotionally cheating on his wife and disrespecting you at the same time. If a married man seems to be fighting feelings for you, here’s why:

• He is afraid of the consequences. Pursuing you could jeopardize his marriage and reputation and cost him the chance to be with you and his wife altogether 
• He is scared to talk to you because he dreads rejection. What if you see the ring on his finger and dismiss him without a second thought?
• He is having an internal crisis about right and wrong, black and white. His conscience is stopping him from making a move
• He is hiding his emotions to avoid complicating your and his life with problems and drama 
• He can’t stand the thought of being condemned by friends, family, and society for having an extramarital affair
• He isn’t ready to acknowledge his feelings. He is probably convinced himself that this is nothing but an infatuation that will eventually fade

How To Know If A Married Man Is Fighting His Feelings For You? 

So, this guy showers you with gifts, lightens your load during office assignments, and seems to understand you almost like a best friend. When everything points to his growing feelings for you, one day, he completely ignores you. He pretends not to know you when his wife is around. What do you make of his ambiguous behavior? These 15 signs a married man is fighting his feelings for you will help you comprehend the reality:

1. He loves spending time with you but never admits it

Whether it’s at a party or he is a co-worker in your office, you’ll notice his eyes light up the moment you walk into the room. Even when surrounded by a group, you will catch him paying special attention to you—laughing at your jokes, perhaps positioning himself to sit next to you.

He might even invite you to grab a bite with the group. But when you get there, you realize that, conveniently, everyone else couldn’t make it. Suddenly, it’s just the two of you. So, you find yourself in a series of these ‘non-dates’.

But here’s the irony: the fact that he never openly admits he enjoys spending time with you is one of the glaring signs a man secretly has feelings for you.

2. His communication style is inconsistent 

As annoying as this may come across to you, his true intention behind such behavior is not to ignore you. If anything, this shows a person is holding back feelings for someone. He really can’t help but respond to your texts immediately considering his strong feelings for you. In a moment of emotional turmoil, he might even give you a call and open his heart a little.

But then, he vanishes completely for the next few days. Why? His moral compass suddenly hits him. He realizes that his unrestrained actions could hurt three people. Not just you and his wife, but possibly even himself. It’s not a pleasant experience for him either. But cutting all contact with you is his defense mechanism to not cross that line.

3. He talks to you about his marital issues 

If a married guy vents about his wife’s annoying habits to an outsider, what does it say about their marriage? You can assume they have a deeply unhealthy equation. When a guy is overwhelmed by his feelings for you, he naturally becomes very vulnerable. No wonder he confides in you about every little issue back at home.

And there’s a reason for it. Of all people, he wants you to understand how unhappy he is being stuck in a troubled marriage. If you get a sense of his current relationship not working out, you might find yourself letting go of your inhibitions and falling just as hard for him. Deep down, he seeks a clean conscience even though he is aware his feelings are taking a deceitful turn.

4. He gets jealous very easily 

Wait until other men start spending extra time with you. Maybe they make you laugh or casually put a hand on your shoulder during a conversation. The moment these men flirt with you openly, it’ll become an eyesore for him. He can suppress his feelings all he wants but jealousy has a way of bubbling to the surface.

He might suddenly act rude for no apparent reason. Things will get more interesting the moment he starts criticizing these men. He’ll go out of his way to convince you that they’re not the right fit for you.

If you are fishing for signs he caught feelings but is scared, try telling him you are going on a date. Watch how his face turns red and how he storms out of the room, angry and upset.

5. He secretly keeps a tab on your social media 

‘Secretly’ is the keyword here. He wouldn’t want his family to know that his heart is wandering somewhere else. When you post a stunning photo on Instagram, he will not leave a cheesy comment under it. But there is no hindrance in checking your stories quietly. Because who will ever find that out?

One morning you get notifications of him liking your pictures from four years ago. It’s obvious he had a secret stalking session last night. No matter how hard a person tries to hide their tracks, there will always be subtle hints of them roaming around in your profile. It’s one of the tell-tale signs he loves you but is too afraid to come clean about it. 

6. He is always there for you

He’s someone’s husband, for crying out loud. Even though he can’t seem to resist you, the chances of him acting on his feelings are slim to none. But he will still take every opportunity to be your knight in shining armor.

His impulse to see to your well-being and cater to all your needs will be very strong. He’ll do anything to seek a permanent place in your heart. Suppose you casually mention on chat that you’re craving a hot brownie. He might just send one to your home address. 

Or maybe, he gets the news of your mother’s illness. He will take the initiative to use all his contacts to make sure he gets the best facilities at the hospital. After his relentless effort from the sidelines, there’s hardly any doubt that he has fallen for you.

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7. He values your opinion 

Doesn’t he always reach out to you with every internal conflict and marital issue? Once he suspected his wife might be involved with someone else. He came to you for your advice on how to handle the situation. What about the time when he texted you because he couldn’t decide which iPhone model to pick?

We think there’s more to these gestures than just being friendly. The truth is you and your opinion matter a great deal to him. Remember how you once complimented him on his black shirt, and for the next month, he wore nothing but black? He might never admit it, but these are subtle signs a married man is emotionally attached to you.  

8. He is curious about your dating life

How can you tell if a guy likes you? His interest in your romantic life will be uncanny. Are you involved with someone at present? Do you still feel hung up on any of your past relationships? Is there a guy you have a major crush on?

He’ll ask subtle yet intriguing personal questions to bring out the secrets of your love life. The path is not easy for him to break off his marriage just like that and rush into a relationship with you. At the very least, he wants to know if you’re already taken—keeping that door open in case he decides to enter your life.  You can pin it as one of the important signs a married man is fighting his feelings for you. 

9. His behavior changes in front of his wife

This is classic skeptical behavior from a married man who has fallen in love but does not admit it. When his family is around, you’ll meet a completely different version of him. Usually, he smiles a little too much at you.  He would even come up to you and strike up a conversation. However, it’s a bad day to have both women in his life in the same room. 

He’ll instinctively tone down his emotions, pulling back from you. After all, what if his wife catches the twinkle in his eye while talking to you? On the flip side, he’ll likely feel guilty for blatantly ignoring you. Keep a close watch, and this internal conflict will be written all over his behavior and body language.

10. He tries not to be alone with you

As much as the guy likes to spend time with you, he will avoid one-on-one time in secluded places at all costs. The reason is simple; he doesn’t trust his own intentions when it comes to you. He is afraid he might overstep the boundaries and give in to his physical urges, given the intense attraction between the two of you.

After all, that would be completely inappropriate, given his marital status. There’s no denying the sexual attraction between you two whenever you’re together. Every lingering eye contact drips off his desire for you. Even the simplest gestures—a handshake or a gentle hug—are loaded with sexual innuendos. No wonder that his attempts to avoid being alone with you are one of the most telling signs a guy is fighting his feelings for you.

11. He remembers the little things

Here’s a little secret to help you spot when a guy is trying not to catch feelings for you—but failing miserably. He may use every ounce of willpower to avoid you, to suppress his feelings. But how can he stop you from living rent-free in his head?

For instance, let’s say you casually mentioned months ago how much you hate being alone on your birthday in the city. What does he do? He gathers a few mutual friends and surprises you with an intimate dinner party. Not only did he listen, but he remembered! Just like he remembered you are a fan of briskets—so he smokes one just for you. While he may not say it in so many words, his actions show that his heart is in the right place.

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12. He tries to act nonchalant 

Oh, how hard he’ll try to convince you that he’s just a platonic friend and nothing more! A married man will give you the princess treatment—bringing you gifts, offering help in every possible way. Yet he’ll always top every one of his actions off with, “Hey, don’t worry about it. Anyone would do what I did. I’m just being a good friend.” Don’t you think it is one of the signs a married man is fighting his feelings for you?

He knows, deep down, that his interest in another woman—especially one who isn’t his wife—goes against social norms. But the heart wants what it wants, doesn’t it? Until he figures out what to do about his love for you, masking his desires behind friendly gestures is his safest bet.

13. He teases you often

Given the social constraints, he won’t make a direct move. However, there will be an abundance of teasing and flirting. His playful attention will make it clear that he has the hots for you. He’ll shower you with compliments at every opportunity. 

There will be moments when he teases you just to get a cute reaction out of you. You’ll catch him stealing glances in a crowd. Maybe he will throw an occasional wink your way. And let’s not forget how he slides into your DM with naughty memes. There’s no need to second-guess it. This married man is definitely interested in you.

14. He displays hot and cold behavior 

In a fleeting moment of weakness, he’ll come dangerously close to you. We mean both physically and emotionally. Think about the way he hugs you passionately or that lingering hand-holding. He may even find a way to channel his emotional turmoil and tell you all the things he loves about you. We bet he usually doesn’t reveal this side of him.

But it doesn’t take him long to change colors. Contrary to his initial affection, suddenly he turns into a cold, distant person the next day. He would pretend like he doesn’t want anything to do with you. 

No more sharing his deeper emotions. You’ll be lucky if he even replies to your texts. These mixed signals are clear signs he’s denying his feelings for you. He wants you. But his guilty conscience is holding him back at the last moment.

15. His body language says it all 

For starters, he’ll blush a lot as you speak to him or be just around. When he will maintain eye contact, it will feel almost as if there are only two people in the world—you and him. This, in fact, is one of the scientific ways to tell if a guy likes you. Research shows that prolonged eye contact can play a significant role in inducing arousal.

Anyone can tell he is nervous around you from his restless behavior. Why else would he be constantly fidgeting or running his fingers through his hair? All of this happens because he’s very conscious of his heightened emotions.

How To Navigate The Situation? 

“What are the signs he likes me but is holding back?”—You were looking for the clues and got them. Now, with a little more observation and attention to detail, you can confirm whether your assumptions about him are true. Let’s say they are—what comes next? How do you handle this delicate situation in real life? Let’s guide you through it:

1. Do not get involved right away

You probably already know it in your heart—getting involved with a married man is a road that leads nowhere good. For one thing, there’s almost never any future of these relationships. Chances are it will end badly amidst a lot of chaos and drama. You will end up hurting not just his wife but yourself of all people. So take your time and consider carefully. There’s no honor in being the ‘other woman’.

2. Try to find out about the status of his marriage

The only way you can even think of being a part of his life is if he is going to leave his wife and is going through a divorce. Or at least, he is taking the necessary steps to end things with his wife. You could ask him directly about his plans. If that seems way out of the line, reach out to a mutual friend. See if they can shed some light on whether he’s making an effort to move on from his past and start fresh with you.

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3. Let him know how you feel about him

We won’t suggest jumping into a relationship with a married man. But it’s okay to have an honest conversation about what the future might look like. When a guy is unsure about how you would reciprocate his feelings, he may hesitate to end his marriage for nothing. You can gently let him know that you’re open to the idea of being together—provided you’re the only woman in his life.

4. Draw necessary boundaries

On a broader spectrum, married men rarely leave their families for a mistress, and you deserve far more respect than to settle for that role. That’s why some strict boundaries are in order. Now that you know the signs a married man is fighting his feelings for you, it is important for you to draw the necessary boundaries.

Acknowledge that he is married which makes the situation ethically and emotionally complex. Even if he crosses the line, you need to know when to stop to protect your dignity. Communicate your limitations clearly. He should know that you are not going to be an easy conquest.

5. Restrain your emotional investment 

You have deep feelings for this man and there’s nothing wrong with it. But as a mature adult, you have to find a way to not get overly attached to him. He will give you all sorts of mixed signals. You have to stop finding excuses to rationalize his behavior. 

Until he can take accountability for his feelings, control your impulses. Try to be as neutral as possible in your tone. More importantly, reduce your one-on-one time with him. It is not going to be easy, we understand. But this is all for the sake of your mental well-being in the long run. 

It’s no secret that women are naturally inclined to falling for married men. According to a study, 90% of women showed interest in men who were taken, compared to 59% who preferred single men. The fact that he is a responsible man, not a boy, and wanted by another woman makes him irresistible to some women. 

However, now that you’re aware of the signs a married man is fighting his feelings for you, you may find it difficult to not run into his arms. Resist that urge considering the added trouble coming along with a married guy.  Instead, choose to prioritize your self-respect and move forward, or, at the very least, wait until he can honor you as a legitimate partner. You deserve nothing less!