7 Possible Reasons Your Ex Avoids Looking At You

Why does my ex avoid looking at me? A question I once asked myself when I was going through a tough breakup. I bumped into him and it was as if he had mastered the act of hiding his gaze from mine. He will glance anywhere but in my direction. It’s one thing to dodge a text or a phone call, but this? This was another heartbreak which I had to endure. 

If you are going through something similar and you have no idea why your ex seems uncomfortable around you, don’t worry. I have gathered all the reasons why sometimes exes don’t make eye contact and blatantly ignore you. It is one thing to not speak to someone, but avoiding even to look at them? Perhaps it’s more complicated than just trying to avoid an uncomfortable encounter.

What Does It Mean When Your Ex Can’t Even Look At You? 

I know. It’s like being caught in an emotional game of hide and seek. They are hiding their gaze from you and you are trying to seek it. You can’t help but wonder why this sudden aversion – what is wrong with you? Can’t they just be courteous enough to just say a ‘hi’ when they run into you at the supermarket? Or is there some genuine reason not simply not look up at you and totally behave as if you did not exist?

I spoke to a friend about my experience, and how his behavior kept me thinking. I understand not making eye-contact could be a sign “I don’t care about you or feel anything about you”, but totally ignoring my existence bothered me.

“It could be because they are still holding onto some unresolved feelings. Or maybe they are just trying to protect themselves from the emotional aftermath of the breakup. Perhaps they are struggling to move on from you, and they don’t want you to see their pain in their eyes. ” 

There are too many probabilities but no definite answer because each breakup is different. Whether they are avoiding you out of guilt, embarrassment, or something deeper, let’s discover a few possible explanations for why your ex can’t seem to look at you and what it really says about where they are emotionally. 

Why Does Your Ex Avoid Looking At You? 

You have come face to face with your ex after a breakup. Irrespective of the breakup being ugly or amicable, there’s still tension between the two of you. The heartbreak is evident and she or he avoids eye contact. Whether it is in person or online, their refusal to make eye contact can leave you questioning if something is wrong with you or if there is something deeper going on. Read along and explore the seven possible reasons why your ex could be avoiding your gaze. 

1. They are feeling guilty 

The first step to figure the answer to the question “why does my ex avoid looking at me?” would be to go back back to the reasons you two broke up. The reason you ended your relationship, and they way it ended could hold the clues to your exes’ behavior now.

Was any kind of infidelity involved when you broke up? Or did they go ahead and end the relationship first before you found about them? If yes, then there’s your answer. They regret cheating on you and they are filled with guilt.

Eye contact is a powerful way to communicate emotions. Hence, they are feeling unworthy and undeserving of it. They messed things up and they don’t feel like they have the right to face you or seek any kind of connection with you. 

You May Also Like: “If Your Ex Blocks You, You Won” — Meaning And How To Respond

2. They still have feelings for you

If your ex avoids looking at you, it could be because they still have lingering feelings for you. Eye contact is an intimate form of connection, and if they are not ready to face the emotions tied to the breakup, it can feel overwhelming. Perhaps they are unable to move on but have been pretending that well so far, and by looking at you their whole wall or farce could be shattered. If they are secretly into you, they would avoid looking at to fearing their eyes may give away their feelings.

Looking at you might trigger old feelings of love, longing, or sadness that they just aren’t prepared to deal with. By avoiding eye contact, they are protecting themselves from reopening old emotional wounds. They could even be scared of admitting their feelings for you. They may be heartbroken and that is the last thing anyone wants their ex to know. By avoiding looking at you, they are saving their grace. 

3. They don’t want to send you mixed signals

Why would a guy purposely avoid looking at you? Because they don’t want to send you any mixed signals and lead you on. They are trying to create an emotional distance to avoid giving you any false hope indirectly. They don’t want your feelings to be reignited. 

Jonah, a 30-year-old software engineer from Chicago, says, “My ex saw me and looked away. One second he stares at me and the next he is avoiding eye contact. It has only been two weeks since we broke up. His body language was off too. I asked her friend and found out it’s because he doesn’t want to give any mixed signals and lead me on.” 

4. They are angry at you

That would literally be me. If I am very angry with someone, looking at them triggers my anger and I feel rage like crazy. If your ex is anything like me, they will avoid eye contact with you because you hurt them badly and they are (still) mad at you. If they do, they will be overrun by their emotions and that might not be great for them as well.

They hate whatever happened between you, and haven’t forgotten the same. Refusing to meet your gaze is their way of letting you know that they haven’t forgotten how you treated them. 

5. Their emotions are running high 

When your ex is avoiding eye contact and their emotions are running high, it indicates that they are overwhelmed by their feelings. It could be anything from anger to sadness and confusion. Or, they could be feeling something strong and it’s reflecting in their body language. In situations like this, it is best to give them space and time to cool down.

You May Also Like: My Ex Moved On Like I Was Nothing- Reasons And Coping Tips

6. Your ex has moved on 

Your ex has moved on in his life and thinks you nothing more than a past, closed chapter. By ignoring you, they are giving you the message that nothing is like before and they do not feel anything for you. They do not want to visit their past and they no longer live there.

They have a happier life. It’s as simple as that. They don’t want to engage in any further conversation with you or revisit a chapter they’ve already closed. They might fear that even a brief moment of eye contact could suggest there’s still a chance for reconciliation which they are no longer interested in. It’s best you respect their boundaries and not force them to do anything against their will. 

7. They are protecting their new relationship  

If your ex is avoiding eye contact and seems distant, it could very well be because they’re protecting their new relationship. They are afraid a single eye contact may reignite their feelings for you and that could cause a problem in their new relationship. 

What Can You Do If Your Ex Avoids Seeing You? 

The first thing you should do is respect their need for space. If your ex is avoiding seeing you, it means they need time to heal. They want to establish emotional distance between the two of you. They want to move on. Respect their boundaries and don’t force them to talk to you. Here are a few other things you can do if your ex avoids seeing you:

• Avoid overanalyzing their behavior
• You focus on moving forward 
• If you want closure, then reach out to them but if they ignore you, don’t trouble them again
• Focus on your own growth 
• Accept that the relationship has come to an end and there is nothing you can do about it

Conclusion 

It’s high time you stop wondering why does my ex avoid looking at me and instead you need to redirect all that energy into moving on. Respect their space and don’t let it affect your energy. Understanding and patience can make all the difference as you each find closure and work toward emotional independence.